You are what you eat. This phrase became part of American culture in the 20th century as people began to care more for their physical health. It implies a responsibility to make choices about what we put in our bodies. It suggests a need to distinguish healthy food from an abundance of options, some of which are not good for us.
The world has changed in the 21st century. We still need to be careful about what we eat, but there is another phrase we need to keep in mind: You are what you pay attention to. Our senses are bombarded with an infinite number of inputs, available through technology at any moment of the day. We can only focus on a small portion of what is in range of our sight and hearing. Like our choices about food, our choices about what we pay attention to have consequences for our wellness. If physically we are what we eat, mentally and emotionally we are what we pay attention to.
Winifred Gallagher wrote about the effects of attention in her 2009 book, Rapt: Attention and Focused Life. Her book was important in 2009, only two years after the iPhone entered our lives. It is ten times more valuable a decade later.
The impacts of attention
The book's first revelation is the link between our attention and our emotions. Focus on angry or divisive news reports, and we'll feel angry or divisive. Read an uplifting email from a friend, and we'll feel uplifted. Some inputs have more emotional impact than others, but the link from our senses to our feelings is always present. The overabundance of sensory inputs and the direct link to our emotions means the world can feel overwhelming. Our emotional state can ebb and flow depending on what is on our phone, television, or radio. How do we make sense of it all?
Our brain selects from all available targets to aim our focus at one thing at a time. The selection process happens subconsciously if we do not choose consciously. Our mind is happy to put attention on autopilot, directing our focus in response to our senses. If you go to the grocery store hungry, you may experience the effect of the attentional autopilot as your gaze falls on every sugary, high-calorie item in your path. Our senses communicate hunger and our brain responds by focusing our attention on quick energy sources.
Attentional autopilot is dangerous because it's driving without a destination. Instead it zips from input to input, bouncing around the world like a lost bumblebee. Meanwhile, every input impacts our mental or emotional state for better or worse. If we allow the autopilot to drive our attention, we allow the random sensory inputs of the world to drive our emotions. In a world full of bad news, the net effect can be depressing.
Technology gives us immediate and limitless access to the world. A smartphone or tablet can easily become an attentional black hole. Internet content creators compete for our attention by designing things to catch our eye and cause an emotional reaction. The intended emotional reaction usually serves the media's creator, not the consumer. Only by being selective with our internet attention do we navigate our own course and own the emotional outcome.
The author's thesis, one that I strongly agree with, is that we must take control of our attention to guard our mental and emotional wellness.
I think being mindful about internet use is a huge first step to achieving conscious attention. But what about attending to the real world around us? Despite the obvious benefits of owning our attention, I think there is also some danger in conscious attention. It is particularly dangerous for leaders.
Is it ethical to choose?
If we consciously select what to pay attention to and what to ignore, it is possible to willfully neglect problems in order to avoid emotional distress. It is possible to ignore our own weaknesses as leaders. And it is possible to be selective with attention to particular followers, leading to a performance-sapping exclusive climate.
In light of the negative outcomes of willfully turning attention away from distressing things, is it ethical to ignore others' suffering, criticism, or anger in order to protect our own emotional wellness?
One possible answer to that question is that leaders must be aggressively attentive to the people around them. We cannot turn away from the suffering, criticism, or anger of anyone we can influence. We must face the emotional consequences because that is the only way to understand other people and lead them ahead. And we must pay attention to ourselves, even if means being aware of things we don't like. Leaders have work to do, and sometimes that work means getting dirty. Physically, mentally or emotionally.
However, we must also acknowledge that everyone has a limit to the negative thoughts or feelings they can endure before it starts to hurt. Leaders who take on the weight of the world only to be crushed by their emotional reaction lose effectiveness. It is true that in order to lead others, we first must take care of ourselves.
After reflecting on this question, I've decided that for myself, the right answer comes from another question: how large is my sphere of influence? How many people do I impact? Even if I'm trying to lead everyone, I know I can only influence the people I interact with.
My current answer to the ethical question is that I must focus my attention on the people in my sphere of influence. I cannot choose to ignore the people I interact with, either in person or through any kind of long-distance communication. And as I discussed in my article on leading everyone, I must be aggressive about being attentive to everyone in my sphere. That is the only way to fulfill my duties to the people I’m tasked with leading.
However, to guard my own emotional wellness, it is acceptable to shift my attention away from people or problems I cannot influence. The media may expose me to the suffering of opioid addicts in the pacific northwest, but unless I know someone affected or I choose to engage on that particular issue, I may place my awareness of it somewhere away from my heart where it won't affect me emotionally. That difficult choice ensures that the people I can influence get my full, emotionally centered, and energetic attention. Hopefully, there are leaders everywhere caring for the people that they can influence, so people in need can find help.
There is always more to think about
I love Rapt because I think attention is critically important in the modern world. It plays a huge role in our individual mental or emotional wellness as well as for our readiness to lead others. The book has made me aware of the huge responsibility of being conscious with my attention. The choices I make about my own attention have consequences for me and the people I lead. Management of my attention has become another challenge that I grapple with every day.